How to Choose Your First Dildo: NZ Beginner's Guide (2026)

Choosing your first dildo can feel overwhelming — there are thousands of options in dozens of materials, sizes, shapes and price points. This guide cuts through the noise. It's written for New Zealand readers buying their first dildo, and it covers everything you actually need to decide: material, size, shape, lube, cleaning, harness compatibility, and where to buy discreetly in NZ.

By the end, you'll know exactly what to look for, what to avoid, and how to make a confident first purchase.

Quick answer: the 60-second version

If you only have a minute, here's the short version of this guide:

  • Material: medical-grade platinum-cure silicone. Avoid TPE, TPR, jelly and unspecified PVC for internal use.
  • Size: 5–6 inches insertable length, 1.25–1.5 inches diameter. Don't go bigger for your first.
  • Shape: smooth or lightly-textured straight or gently-curved shaft with a flared base.
  • Lube: water-based only (silicone lube degrades silicone toys). Buy a 100ml bottle alongside the toy.
  • Suction cup: get one. Hands-free play is much easier and many work with strap-on harnesses too.
  • Where to buy: A reputable NZ-based retailer with discreet plain packaging, R18 age verification and clear material specs on every product.

That's the core decision. Read on for the detail.

1. Start with the material — this matters more than anything else

The single most important decision you'll make is the material. It determines whether the toy is safe for internal use, how easy it is to clean, how long it lasts, and what lube you can use with it.

Body-safe materials (recommended)

  • Medical-grade platinum-cure silicone. The gold standard. Non-porous, hypoallergenic, doesn't trap bacteria, lasts for years, and can be fully sterilised by boiling. Almost all reputable brands (Tantus, Fun Factory, Doc Johnson's premium lines, Lovense, Svakom) use this. Look for the phrases "medical grade" or "platinum-cure" or "platinum silicone" on the spec.
  • Borosilicate glass. Fully body-safe, non-porous, extremely durable. Compatible with every lube type. Great for temperature play. Browse our glass dildos NZ collection if this appeals to you.
  • Stainless steel (316L grade). Body-safe, non-porous, very heavy, conducts temperature. A more advanced choice.
  • ABS plastic. Body-safe and non-porous when used as the rigid core of vibrators — but uncommon as a sole material for dildos.

Materials to avoid for internal use

  • TPE, TPR, "jelly", "sensa-feel", "cyber skin", unspecified PVC. All porous. Bacteria can settle into the microscopic pores and can't be fully cleaned out. Some contain phthalates that can leach over time. Fine for external display objects; not recommended for insertion.
  • Latex. Body-safe for many users but a common allergen. Skip it unless you know you're not allergic.

You'll see plenty of cheap online listings that just say "silicone" without specifying medical or platinum grade. Treat that as a yellow flag — a reputable brand will state it clearly. If the product page is vague about material, choose something else.

2. Size: smaller than you think

Almost every first-time buyer over-estimates the size they want. Here's the reality:

  • Insertable length: 5–6 inches is plenty for first-time buyers. The average vaginal canal expands to around 4–7 inches when aroused. The average rectum's comfortable accommodating depth is around 4–5 inches. Anything longer than 6 inches is for users who want extra reach or visual appeal, not necessarily more pleasure.
  • Diameter (girth): 1.25–1.5 inches at the thickest point. This is around the average size of a typical penis. Larger girths require warm-up and progression.
  • Base: always look for a flared base or wide suction cup — essential for anal use and useful for vaginal use too.

If you're sure you want bigger, that's fine — but consider buying a starter size first, learning what you actually like, and then upgrading. Our Huge Dildos collection is here when you're ready, but most beginners are happier starting in the standard range.

3. Shape and texture: simpler is better at first

Dildos come in dozens of shapes. For your first, keep it simple:

  • Straight or gently curved shaft. A slight curve (10–15 degrees) helps with G-spot or prostate stimulation. A pronounced curve is more advanced.
  • Smooth or lightly-textured surface. Heavy ridges, knots, scales or extreme textures (popular in fantasy dildos and dragon dildos) deliver intense sensation. Wonderful when you're experienced; overwhelming as a first toy.
  • Defined head vs smooth bullet tip. A defined head feels different to a smooth tip on entry. Most realistic dildos have a defined head; coloured and abstract dildos often have a smoother profile.
  • Realistic or coloured? Personal preference — there's no right answer. Realistic dildos mimic anatomy with skin tones and veining. Coloured dildos are intentionally non-skin-tone for a more playful, body-positive aesthetic.

4. Get a suction cup base — you'll thank yourself later

If you're buying just one toy, get a suction cup dildo. The base sticks to any smooth, non-porous surface (tile, glass shower screen, sealed timber, polished concrete) and lets you use the toy hands-free — a much wider range of positions than holding it manually.

The other major benefit: most suction cup bases double as harness anchors, so the same toy works in a strap-on harness later if you want to explore couples play.

Surfaces that work: tile, glass, sealed timber, laminate, polished concrete, painted gloss walls.

Surfaces that don't: carpet, fabric, brick, unsealed wood, plaster, textured surfaces.

5. Lube: don't skip this, and don't get the wrong type

Lube is non-negotiable. Even toys that feel slick out of the packet need lube once they're in use.

  • Water-based lube is the safe default. Works with every toy material. Easy clean-up. The only drawback: it dries out faster than silicone-based, so you reapply more often.
  • Silicone-based lube is longer-lasting and great in the shower — but it degrades silicone toys. Never combine silicone lube with silicone toys. Fine with glass or stainless steel.
  • Oil-based lube degrades latex (relevant if you use condoms on the toy for sharing) and can stain fabrics. Generally avoid unless you have a specific reason.
  • Hybrid lubes blend water and silicone. Check the toy material before using.

For your first toy, get a 100ml bottle of a thick water-based lube. You'll use roughly 2–3ml per session, so a 100ml bottle lasts a long time.

6. Vibration: nice to have, not essential

Some dildos vibrate; most don't. Pure dildos focus on penetrative sensation; vibrators focus on buzz stimulation; thrusting dildos combine penetration with internal motion.

For a first dildo, a non-vibrating toy is perfectly fine — it lets you focus on what penetration feels like before adding more sensation. If you know you want vibration, our thrusting dildos range adds motion plus optional vibration.

7. Cleaning and care: protect your investment

A medical-grade silicone dildo will last for years if you care for it. Here's how:

  • Before and after every use: wash with warm water and mild fragrance-free soap, or use a dedicated toy cleaner.
  • For full sterilisation (especially before sharing or switching between vaginal and anal use): boil silicone or glass toys for three minutes. Do not boil any toy with electronic components.
  • Drying: air-dry completely before storage. Trapped moisture promotes bacterial growth.
  • Storage: store in a cotton pouch or silicone-safe container. Don't let silicone toys touch each other in storage — some grades react.

8. Where to buy in New Zealand: discretion matters

Buying adult products in NZ has come a long way. Reputable NZ retailers offer:

  • Plain unbranded packaging. The parcel and courier label should give nothing away. At Naughty Hut, every order ships in plain packaging with no reference to the store name.
  • NZ-based fulfilment. Local warehousing means same- or next-day dispatch and no slow customs delays.
  • R18 age verification. NZ retailers operate under the Films, Videos, and Publications Classification Act 1993, which requires age verification at checkout.
  • Clear material specs on every product page. If a retailer is vague about what their toys are made from, shop elsewhere.
  • Return and warranty policies. The Consumer Guarantees Act applies — a defective toy is not your problem to absorb.

9. Common first-purchase mistakes to skip

  • Buying too big. Almost everyone does. Start at 5–6 inches insertable length, 1.25–1.5 inches diameter.
  • Skipping the lube. A dry first session is the fastest way to put yourself off the whole thing. Buy lube with the toy.
  • Choosing on price alone. A cheap PVC or jelly toy might cost less up front, but you'll either replace it within months or end up with a porous surface you can't fully clean. Mid-range medical-grade silicone is the floor for internal use.
  • Forgetting the flared base. Anything without a flared base or suction cup is risky for anal use — toys can migrate. Always check.
  • Heavy texture for the first toy. Save tentacles, knots, and dragon designs for after you know what your baseline preferences are.

10. A simple first-purchase shortlist

If you want a concrete shortlist of what to look at, browse these NZ collections — each has been curated with beginners in mind:

Frequently asked questions

How much should I spend on my first dildo?

$40–$120 NZD is the realistic range for a quality medical-grade silicone dildo in New Zealand. Below $40, you're typically getting a porous-material toy that won't last. Above $120, you're paying for brand, dual-density construction, or features like vibration.

Is it safe to buy adult toys online in NZ?

Yes — NZ retailers are regulated under the Films, Videos, and Publications Classification Act 1993, age-verify at checkout, and ship in plain packaging. Stick to NZ-based retailers with NZ fulfilment to avoid slow customs and surprise duties.

How discreet is the packaging?

At Naughty Hut, every order ships in unbranded plain packaging with no reference to the store or contents on the parcel or courier label. The return address is a neutral NZ business name.

Do I need a vibrator or a dildo?

A dildo is a non-vibrating insertable toy for penetration. A vibrator uses a motor for buzz or pulse stimulation, often used externally. They do different jobs. If you're not sure which fits your interest, start with a dildo — it's the broader category and easier to learn what you respond to.

Are silicone dildos really safer than PVC?

Yes. Medical-grade silicone is non-porous — bacteria can't embed in the surface and it can be sterilised by boiling. PVC, TPE, TPR and jelly toys are porous: bacteria can settle in the microscopic surface pores and resist cleaning. For internal use, choose silicone.

What lube should I use with a silicone dildo?

Water-based lube only. Silicone-based lube degrades silicone toys over time, leaving the surface tacky and porous. A thick water-based lube (around 200–500 cP viscosity) is ideal.

How often will I need to replace it?

A well-cared-for medical-grade silicone dildo lasts 5–10+ years. Borosilicate glass lasts indefinitely unless dropped on a hard surface. PVC, TPE and jelly toys typically degrade within 6–18 months even with careful care.

Can I use my dildo with a partner?

Yes — plenty of dildos are designed for couples or shared use. A suction cup base lets a partner provide hands-free penetration. A flared-base dildo can be worn in a strap-on harness for pegging or strap-on play. Use a fresh condom on the toy or sterilise between users if sharing.

What size dildo do most NZ buyers choose?

The most popular first-purchase size in NZ is 6 inches insertable length with around 1.4 inch diameter — close to average penis dimensions. Most buyers stay in this range for years before exploring larger options.

The bottom line

For your first dildo: medical-grade silicone, 5–6 inches insertable, 1.25–1.5 inches diameter, smooth or lightly-textured shaft, flared base or suction cup, paired with a thick water-based lube. That's the formula that works for most NZ first-time buyers. Once you've spent a few sessions with that, you'll know exactly what you'd change up or down for your second toy.

Ready to browse? Start with our Dildos NZ collection — 845+ products curated for body safety, all shipped discreetly from our NZ warehouse with same/next-day dispatch.

Reviewed and updated: May 2026 by the Naughty Hut editorial team. See our editorial standards.

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